The World's Stupidest Pokemon Trainers
by Raykura-Kura
Summary: I decided to take a break from my other story and make a 1-shot to relax, and maybe keep impatient people at bay. I may add new chapters if I want to, though. Simply put, it's about kids & idiots who somehow got Pokemon Licenses. Rated M for my liberty.
1. Chapter 1

The World's Stupidest Pokemon Trainers

The World's Stupidest Pokemon Trainers

Hello, I'm the narrator/author here to show you the world's STUPIDEST Pokemon trainers, despite a lack of visuals, save for text. What did you think this was a story about lollipop pies? If you did, then there's something mentally wrong with you. It'll help you get the jokes, & to picture the scenes & characters if you've played the games. Also, some Pokemon text will be translated, but some won't. Anyway…

Pewter City, in the gym…

"I KNOW, Onix! How do all these rookie trainers keep knowing to come here with Bulbasaur and Squirtle, and then use Bubble, Vine Whip or Water Gun?! Where do they get all those Bulbasaur & Squirtle anyway!?"

"On?" Onyx said with a questioning intonation, it's huge, rock body making Pewter Gym VERY cramped. "I know. I don't get it either, Onyx." Brock said, unknowingly speaking to an actual rock in the gym. "UNLESS…" Brock suddenly screamed, raising a finger. Onyx opened it's mouth in anticipation.

"They're all REALLY psychic Pokemon in disguise!!" Brock declared, then donning a proud-of-himself expression. Onyx just facefaulted, causing severe damage to the floor.

"Darn it. That's the third time today. Dude, I think something's wrong with Brock." One of the two gym trainers said to the other gym trainer.

"Hey? Hey? Want me to tell you about light years? Huh? HUH?? **HUH??**" Oddly enough every time he said "Huh" he appeared on another side of the other trainer.

"Oh, forget it." "Don't you DARE forget about light years!! Distance not time! Oh yeah, still got it!! Man, you're still LIGHT YEARS away from Brock!"

"Right. How many light years am I away from him now?" The first trainer called, standing right next to Brock.

"You're still LIGHT YEARS lightyears away from Brock!!" Trainer #1 slapped his forehead. "Why…do…I…bother!?" Trainer #1 said, slamming his head against the wall with each word. Then he stopped slamming his head. "Uh oh, head injury." And he fainted.

Trainer #2 paid this no mind. "Hey look, a trainer! And he's LIGHT YEARS away from Brock." "Uhhh…That's great. Could you call 9-1-1?" Trainer #1 asked, obviously in a lot of pain.

Meanwhile, the challenging trainer was skipping through the gym, with his eyes closed. Obviously not the smartest of ideas, since he tripped over a rock within 5 seconds.

"Aagh!! Damnit! Why didn't anyone tell me there was going to be rocks in here!!"

Trainer #2 then walked up to him. "You know, you're light years away from beating Brock." "No need to be mean about me tripping. My eyes were closed!! Besides, according to the Pokemon anime videos I watched, this gym is supposed to be empty, save for Brock."

"Light years!!" "Oh, never mind. You're just stupidly obsessed with lightyears. Still why is one of this gym's trainer knocked out? And why is Brock talking to a rock. Hu-HOLY CRAP, AN ONIX!!" The trainer screamed, finally taking notice of the enormous rock snake crowding up the gym.

"Hey Onix look, there's a trainer here to challenge us!" Brock noticed, still talking to the rock.

"Hey, Brock! It would help you see for LIGHT YEARS if you opened your eyes!"

"NEVER!!" "Oh yeah. Nothing was ever wrong with Brock, I just forgot that he never opens his eyes. NOW COULD SOMEONE PLEASE CALL 9-1-1!" Trainer #1 yelled in frustration in anger.

The challenger quickly took offense to this. "Yo, call 9/11? Why would I want to call dibs on that? That shit was HORRIBLE!!"

Trainer #2 also took offense to this, but for different reasons. "My girlfriend has a name, y' know! It's LIGHTYEARS!! And you're not getting a date with her Trainer #1!"

"I don't care about that! Just call the fucking hospital!!" "Dude, you don't care about 9/11? That's just sad. Sigh." "They have a hospital for sex problems know. Now you got me wondering about how many lightyears away it is."

"Ughhh." "Now, then, let me introduce myself, I am Brock, Gym Leader of the Pewter City Gym- "Yeah, yeah, shut up. I already heard your dumb speech on the Pokemon VHS I watched! Anyway, I'm Jake Ahs, the "e" is silent. Now let's hurry up and battle already." Trainer #1 giggled at this, despite immense pain.

Brock stood up and spoke. "Okay! And this is my trusty partner Onix!" Pointing his finger towards a rock. Once again, Onix face-faulted.

"That's a pretty crappy Onix you've got there, Brock." Jake said, pointing his finger at what he assumed to be a fainted Onix. "Are you ready!?" Onix got up, took a battle stance, and gave a battle-ready "Ixxx".

Jake then took notice of Onix getting up again. "Oh, never mind. Okay, let's start."

"Okay!! I'll act as ref! The battle will take place between Brock, and his opponent, Jake Ahs whom is some amount of lightyears away from Brock both in distance, AND from beating him!"

"Good, then let's do this, Onix! GOOOOOOO… Geodude!!" Yet again, Onix facefaulted, taking out a large portion of the actual rocks in the gym, while Brock threw the Pokeball containing Geodude, somehow, now completely oblivious to his other Pokemon on the battlefield.

"Fine then. A double battle, a change of plans, but I'll still beat you!! Go Wooper, and Caterpie!!"

"Onix! Use tackle!!" Brock said this pointing towards the corner leftwards of himself. "On?"(TL: "Wait, what?") The giant rock snake said with a shrug, then it slammed itself into the corner, causing Trainer #1 to scream for fear of getting hit, but despite how near he was, he didn't.

"Now, Geodude! Hang yourself from the ceiling and act as a disco ball to distract Jake!" "Geo." (TL: "Whatever, stupid.") Then Brock pulled several coloured spotlights to shine on Geodude and a stereo that played party music out of his pants. This garnered an odd, confused look from Jake, but nothing from anyone else since Trainer #1 had fallen into unconsciousness and Trainer #2 was busy thinking about lightyears.

"Uhh. Wooper…" Then Brock started break dancing. "Okaaaay. Anyway, remember the plan. Wooper use thunderbolt to blow up the sprinklers causing water to fall onto Onix and Geodude, thus defeating them!!" Wooper ignored this stupid command, and gave a "Per?"("What the hell is wrong with this kid?")

"Now, Caterpie, use String Shot to pull Onix down to the ground, now that it's weakened by the water!!" "PIE!!"("I CAN'T POSSIBLY DO THAT, YOU IDIOT!!")

"Wow. Had that worked, it would've caused water to fall on Onix and Geodude(And Caterpie, actually.) from an amount of lightyears above me." Trainer #2, thought to himself, not knowing that the distance between him and the gym's ceiling was much too small to be even ONE light year.

Meanwhile, Brock had been sitting silent, and finally spoke. "I lost. Onix, Geodude. Return." It took Brock several tries for each before he finally aimed their respective Pokeballs right. "I can't believe your plan to rain the sprinklers down on them actually worked." "But it didn't." Jake said quietly to himself, mystified by Brock's stupidity.

"You've earned The Boulder Badge. Here take it." Brock took the Boulder Badge out of his pocket and held it out.

Jake recalled his Pokemon, and ran across the very, all-too-large Gym Floor. "WELL!? HURRY UP AND TAKE IT!?" Brock yelled angrily, thinking Jake was right next to him. "I'm taking it, I'm taking it!" Jake lied as he ran, finally reaching Brock. Then he bid his farewells, and left the gym.

"YEAH!! I got a Boulder Badge! And all because the Gym Leader was too stupid just to open his eyes. Hey, wait-a-minute, there was a guy in there with a head injury!! Holy crap!" Then Jake dialed 9-1-1, and reported what he saw.

Shortly after the call, he skipped away, with his eyes once again closed, and skipped right into a fence, promptly uttering a slew of profanities.

End Chapter.

Anyway, yeah, I hope you liked this oneshot. If you want more chapters, tell me by any means. That is, if anyone is actually reading this.


	2. Battle At Mt Maroon

**Chapter(?) 1: Battle at Mt. Maroon**

A young boy in a red jacket, wearing a white & blue cap with a large red "Z" inscribed on it's front was walking down a path surrounded by rocks and mountains.

"Hi, I'm Alph Graball, and this is my partner Sandslash. And I'm going to be a Pokemon Master!! Although I'm not sure if that means I have to catch every Pokemon in the world or if I have to beat the Elite Four."

Walking at the young boy's side was a yellow-skinned creature with black beady eyes and lots of dark-brown spikes protruding from it's back. "That idiot couldn't do either with TEN, ACTUAL Pokemon Masters instructing him." It's expression was stern as it spoke.  
If you looked at it's hands for some weird reason you would see it had claws, not very much resembling fingers. Overall it looked somewhat like a bipedal porcupine with much thicker spikes.

"Oh well, because I'm going to do it either way! Oh, and don't worry, Sandslash doesn't know this because I'm narrating, so he can't hear me! Heh heh, silly Sandslash. But he shouldn't worry because I would never insult him, anyway."

"I can hear you, you're not narrating, and I consider being called "silly" an insult, especially because me being silly would make me seem almost as undignified as you." As you would know realize, the bipedal porcupine thing was a Sandslash, a species of ground-type Pokemon.

"Heh, Sandslash, you know that I'm not "undiggedified"! After all, I'm still above ground aren't I? You're the one who's undiggedified!!"

~Smack~ "Anyway, as you know he's Alph Graball. And as you didn't know, but probably guessed, I'm a talking Sandslash. I can also narrarate, unlike Stupidity McStupid over there."

"Hey, a rock! I'm going to capture you and call you, Rocky!! Whee!"

"See what I mean? Anyway, there's no way this kid could EVER become a Pokemon Master, since while he knows the conditions, -which only require 1 to be fulfilled-, he doesn't KNOW they ARE the conditions."

Alph could be seen licking the rock he found.

So in case you can't tell, the kid we know as Alph Graball is a really stupid kid. And the Sandslash, his traveling Pokemon partner.

"The kid knows _absolutely nothing_ about Pokemon Battles, I'm the only Pokemon he has, and I'm pretty sure Brock was cutting him ALOT of slack. I'm surprised he got out of whatever mental institute he was in, and all the way past Pewter City."

As Sandslash talked & complained, and Alph followed a life of ignorance is bliss, a not-so-evil presence prepared itself.

"I can't believe how easy that last part of the route was. All those other Pokemon Trainers just ran away suddenly, and I could've battled them all. I wonder why they all ran?? Hmmm."

"Probably because they saw an angry Sandslash and a potentially dangerous kid." Sandslash muttered aloud. "Really, where?! I could catch the Sandslash and make friends with the kid!" Alph exclaimed eagerly.

"I don't even know where to begin with that." Sandslash muttered to itself.

"I know! Mt. Moon is just like one huge maze, like it's a cave where people can get lost or something." Alph said, unintentionally responding in non sequitur.

"Gee, who would've thought!?" Sandslash rolled his eyes as he said that, which, considering what a Sandslash's eyes look like, is kind of hard to imagine.

"I know, Sandslash!" "Well, there's a surprise." Sandslash remarked as the duo walked up to Mt. Moon, an ominous evil waited in the shadows.

"Do you think we'll be able to capture it this time Je- The speaker was promptly conked on the head by the one being to spoken to. "OF COURSE WE'LL BE ABLE TO CAPTURE IT, YOU IDIOT!!" The first speaker recoiled as his left ear was screamed directly into.

"I dunno, we ne'er do manage to catch that mouse anyway." A third speaker added to the conversation.

Back to Alph and Sandslash…

"Did you hear some people talking just know?" Sandslash asked, confused, but far from nervous.

"Gee, I sure hope no one ambushes us right now." Alph said to himself, having not heard his Pokemon partner at all.

Then two people jumped out of the shadows, the outlines of their bodies visible. Then a radio with evil music  
began playing.

"Become oblivious to serenity!"

"And make it no different than before!"

Sandslash was taken by annoyed surprise. "Wait, who the hell are you guys?" Alph, more so surprise and _confused_ "Could you turn on some lights, please? I can't see if you're my friends or not."

With each line, a spotlight was put on the speaker. Ironically, still, only their silhouettes were visible.

"To expose the world to restoration!"

"To separate no one in someone else's falsely-owned nation!"

"We still can't see you, could you step more into the light." Alph said, still confused, and naïve. Sandslash on the other hand was quite annoyed. "If you don't tell me who you are in the next 3 seconds, I'll kill you."

"To praise the good of lies and hate!"

"To shorten our restrictions to the rocks below!"

"Jennifer!"

"Jasper!"

"Nice to meet you." Alph said, holding out his hand to no one in particular. Sandslash was contrastingly impolite. "Well, it's about time."

"Team Pocket, rockets off with the slowness of sound!"

"Retreat now, or let your battle guard down!"

"Skiiiii-itty, that's me!"

"HOLY CRAP, IT TALKS!!" Alph and his Pokemon screamed in unison.

Now, the trio(Jennifer, Jasper and Skitty.) had shown themselves, and Alph and Sandslash were quite surprised though, only by the talking Skitty however.

The two humans of the group were a male(Jasper) with short red, hair, and a female(Jennifer) with long, blueish-purple hair.

Sandslash walked up to the Skitty in a somewhat besotted daze. "Finally, another talking Pokemon. Pleasure to meet you." Sandslash said, holding out a claw sideways, forgetting that grabbing a Sandslash's sideways claw could be painful.

"Wow! You can talk, too!!"

"Uh. Yes, I can." Sandslash said, somewhat wordless.

Skitty looked at him deviously. "Hey, wanna see me do a Wailord?" The Skitty responded with a kinky intonation.

Then Sandslash tried to picture her offering in his mind. "Uhhh, I doubt that's even possible." He said, somewhat weirded out. "You would be surprised at the feats some Skitty are capable of, honey-slash."

Meanwhile with Alph...

"Hand over your Pokemon!!" Jennifer instructed.

Jasper slapped his forehead. "Pokemon isn't singular or plural, dumbass!"

"What do "singular", "plural", and "dumbass" mean??" The trainer said, showing stupidity beyond all belief.

"Look, it's clear that this kid is stupid beyond all belief!" Jasper told Jennifer, leaning over to whisper in her ear. "You're right, and since his only Pokemon is distracted by our Skitty…" The female member of the team said, pointing at Skitty.

"We can easily use our other Pokemon to beat him and steal that Sandslash!!" The Team concluded.

"Yeah, it's much more effective than just exploiting his stupidity to con him out of his Pokemon. See, this is why I'M in charge of ideas, Jennifer!"

"Of course! You're so smart, Jasper!" Jennifer said without the slightest hint of doubt in her voice.

"I can see you guys, you know." Alph said, pointing at them. "But did you hear what we said?" Jasper asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, I couldn't. Sorry."

"No problem. Now, go, MAGNETON! Use thunderbolt to take down that Sandslash!" Jasper yelled, throwing a Pokeball, and watching as his Magneton sent a blast of electricity towards Sandslash.

"Are you guys trying to attack me??" He said, turning with eyes showing flames of aggression.

"YEEK! IT TALKS!!" Team Pocket screamed and huddled together at noticing this about Alph's Sandslash.

Sandslash did an in-place facefault and got up.

"Were you guys even paying attention? Of course I talk. What? You think I had learned to reorganize the syllables of my name so I could speak human??"

"Well, that's how our Skitty learned to talk…" Jennifer asked, cowering at the nearest wall, next to Jasper. Sandslash looked over his shoulder at Skitty.

"It's true." She said.

"I feel so sorry for you guys. Mainly because, I'm about to KICK YOUR ASSES!! EARTHQUAKE!!" He screamed.

"Sandy, there's no need to be so violent!" Skitty told him, putting her paws to her head as Sandslash leapt up, struck the ground with a claw, and sent an earthquake towards them.

Then Sandslash was quick to angrily point out that Sandy is a GIRL'S name.

"Ha, an EARTHquake won't hit my FLOATING Magneton." Jasper exclaimed confidently.

The camera shifted back to the male talking Pokemon, who was now wearing a snowy owl mask. "O RLY?"

Then the ground went up in waves, like a blanket being shaken, which sent Magneton up into the air; out of sight, and crashing down to the ground, all 132.0 pounds of it, having been knocked out and no longer able to float.

"AHHHH, my effeminate side _hates_ earthquakes!!" Jasper yelled as a result of the aftermath. "I hate them in general!" Jennifer screamed.

"Alright, Sandslash!! Now finish 'em off with a slash attack!!" Alph called out.

"I DON'T LISTEN TO _YOU_!" The Pokemon screamed at his supposed master, his head growing comically large.

Jennifer's head then grew as large, if not larger than Sandslash's had. "Both of you shut up!" This resulted in several slashes to her face.

"Nobody tells ME to shut up."

"Alright, that it's it Jasper, I'm taking over because you're too stupid to win a battle to save your life." Jennifer said, irritated.

"No I'm not!" Jasper said, his eyes welling with tears.

Jennifer countered in a flat, "matter-of-fact" voice. "You used an electric attack on a ground-type Pokemon. Everyone, except, obviously you, and that kid, knows that ground-type Pokemon are immune to electric type moves."

"Sorry. Go on." He said defeatedly. Jennifer pulled a Pokeball off her waist and threw it.

"Alright then, go, Huntail!" Huntail appeared out of it's Pokeball, and began flopping around on the dry ground.

"You guys are pathetic." Sandslash remarked. "Time to gut the fish!!" Sandslash lept up and slashed huntail, opening a large wound, and Huntail's screaming mouth.

Jennifer astonished, recalled her Pokemon and Jasper took the initiative to speak. "Um. We just got beaten by a technically wild Pokemon." Jasper said, staring blankly.

"No you didn't. There's still that talking Skitty left!!" Alph had woken up from his nap, and ran over to Skitty, Sandslash wasn't quick enough to notice this, and Alph and Skitty got into a scuffle.

This was one of the stupidest things Alph ever decided to do considering Sandslash's temper.

"STOP…BEATING UP…MY _GIRLFRIEND_!!" Sandslash yelled, infuriated, and clawing at Alph in a rage. Alph changed his attention to Sandslash and the two fought for a minute before Alph was beaten.

"Sandslash learned rage. Sandslash now has anger problems." Alph's Pokedex declared.

"SHUT UP!! Now for you guys: Poison Sting!!"

"Before you do that: Sorry, I have to go now." Skitty conceded. "What!?" Skitty then ran faster than the poison needles, and got into the group of her beaten comrades, just as somehow, the poison needles exploded, and sent Team Pocket flying.

Sandslash's eyebrow twitched. "Why would the needles EXPLODE!?" Sandslash finally yelled, in utter frustration, as Team Pocket -and his girlfriend- flew off.

"Looks like Team Pocket is rocketing off agaaaaaiiin!"

"Yeah! We did it!" Alph said, jumping with his fist raised. Sandslash turned his angry eyes to Alph and began slashing him. "YOU DID NOTHING EXCEPT FOR BEATING UP MY GIRLFRIEND!!"

One hour later…

Alph had his index finger raised, his clothes torn, and his body beaten. "To…Mount…Moon." Then he fell unconscious.

"As much as I hate you, I have some good in me, so you're going to the Pokemon Center."

And so, he dragged Alph to the Pokemon Center, and as you can imagine, there was much panic about a talking/demon Sandslash in the Pokemon Center that night.

To probably not be continued.


	3. Motherly Hate

Firstly, I do not own Pokemon, I do own Alph Graball as a character. But he isn't an OC, and will not be one until further notice. Also, sometimes I'll translate what a Pokemon says, other times I won't. Now then...  
Chapter 3(Even though this Fanfic has no real plot. Or chapters. Maybe I should've just said "episode 3" or "misadventure 3". Anyway...): **Safari Owned**

A certain young boy and his Sandslash were standing outside a building in Fuschia City.

"What are we doing here?" The Sandslash said, however, no one aside from his trainer was around, and the trainer payed this abnormality no mind. "Oh come on, it feels like it's been MONTHS since we've done anything."

"Still, I doubt we should be here, anyway. If this place is a popular attraction for Pokemon Trainers and tourists, then how come there aren't more people around?" The Sandslash said.  
"Stop being a scaredy-Sandslash! I have to do this to make the name "Alph Graball" go down in history!! Wait a sec'. Who's "Alph Graball" anyway?" The kid, who just said and forgot his own name.

The Sandslash slapped his forehead. "Idiot. YOU'RE Alph Graball! Now are we going to go in or not?" "Fine, fine, Mr. Impatient!" Alph remarked to Sandslash. "Gah, could you try to NOT be stupid." "Look, what could go wrong in the Safari Zone?"

"Thanks for jinxing our fate, idiot." "Ooh! There are Jynx in there!? I've always wanted to see a Jynx!!"  
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!" Sandslash yelled, briefy losing his temper more than usual as his head temporarily became freakishly large.

So they entered and were greeted a friendly employee. "Hi. This road is closed right now. I sure am thirsty right now, though..." He said to the two had entered his workplace. A second employee, who had been asleep, head on the counter and drooling then woke up.

"Hey, Mark. I thought this was the Safari Zone." The employee said drowsily. "Oh right, thanks Brad. Sorry, I just changed jobs."

Alph, just slapped the air. "Ah, no problem." Sandslash on the other hand stabbed the floor, since Sandslash not having the right kind of "hands" to ball & clench a fist.

Mike turned his head back towards the customer(s). "Anyway, I guess you guys want to enter the Safari Zone, right?" "Yeah." Alph nodded. "Alright, 500 Pokedollars please." So Alph payed, then he & Sandslash went in, or rather Sandslash would've went in.

"Sorry, little buddy. Trainers can't bring their Pokemon into the Safari Zone. You'll have to stay in here." He then led Sandslash to the Pokemon waiting room and placed him there. Sandslash, not wanting someone possibly smart enough to call a scientist who would examine & dissect him, to find out that he could talk, said nothing.

Meanwhile, in the Safari Zone...

"Hey, a Venomoth!" Alph, who had just spotted a Pokemon flying about, promptly threw a rock at it. "Veno!" Alph noticed this reaction and took it the wrong way. "You like that, huh, little guy?" He then threw another rock at the Venomoth.

"VENO!" (TL: "Piss off, you stupid kid!") Venomoth then attacked with Psybeam, you could say that the effects it had on Alph were similar to that of a drug.

"Whee! Look at all the pretty colours I can see!" Alph stumbled around in a stupified daze while the Venomoth flew away, then Alph fell into a nearby pond.

Several Krabby were walking about in the pond when Alph fell in. Noticing the large-bodied intruder falling in, they prepared themselves to repell the intruder, then...

"KRABBY!!" (TL: "My pond!!") Several of them declared pinching Alph all over, all at once. Alph quickly leapt out of the water and ran around screaming as the Krabby took notice of one anothers' teritorial utterance and began attacking each other.

In the Pokemon Waiting room... "I'M NOT IN THERE, YOU STUPID NARRARATOR!" Okay then, fussy, wherever Sandslash is... "I'm in a tunnel." Okay, then, why are you in a tunnel? "Just shut up and narrarate."

In a tunnel somewhere...

Sandslash was muttering to himself, whilst digging at a high speed. "I hate that kid. I really do. It's not that I care about his health. I just worry about the chaos he could cause. Giving him rocks to throw at Pokemon is like giving a Mankey dynamite to throw at people."

As he said this he finally found a soft ceiling and broke out into the Safari Zone. "It's like I just broke out of jail, except this place is no less of a jail than that Pokemon waiting room." So this is the Safari Zo-Just then, a Doduo trampled him as it ran across the terrain.

A vein popped out of his head and he shook his claw at the long-gone Doduo. "Watch where you're going, jackass!" "Now, then where am I?"

Back with Alph...

"Man, I hurt all over. Why did those meanies have to take away Sandslash. All these Pokemon keep attacking me. Who knew Pokemon hated rocks so much?" "KANGA!" (TL: "Anyone with common sense, idiot!") A voice yelled out. "Ooh! Jenga!? I wanna play!"

Then, a large Pokemon stepped in front of Alph. "Kangaskhan?" (TL: "What's "Jenga"?") "Who's Genghis Khan? Is he an actor?" Alph said to the Pokemon was revealed to be a Kangaskhan. "Oh, wait! I have presents for you!" The Kangaskhan tilted it's head & looked at Alph.

"Here you go! Free rocks!" Alph then began pelting the Kangaskhan with rocks who screamed in pain, that's when Alph noticed the Kangaskhan's baby. "Hey! You're a mother! You have a baby! What I'm doing is wrong!" The Kangaskhan then wiped it's brow in relief.

Then Alph continued his revelation. "What I'm doing is wrong because KIDS SHOULD GET ROCKS TOO! Have a free pet rock, baby Kangaskhan!!" Kangaskahn gasped, & then Alph resumed throwing rocks, both at the Kangaskhan and it's baby.

Kangaskhan continued screaming angrily. "KANG GAS, KAN, KHAN, NA-HAN, NA-KHAN, KANGA!!" "Aww, you're welcome!" "KANGAAAAAH!!" If you're wondering about that scream, it's because Kangaskhan unleashed a Dizzy Punch attack on Alph, who was sent flying.

"WHEEEEE-SMASH!!-OW!" Alph rubbed his head, having been sent flying head-first into a rock in the middle of the lake. "That was fun, but it hurt. I wonder why that Kangaskhan doesn't like rocks?"

Just a few minutes ago, with Sandslash, who actually wasn't that far away...

"Hey, that was the scream of a Pokemon in pain and/or anger!...ALPH MUST BE NEARBY!!" And so, Sandslash began running in the direction of the scream.

"Must...stop...Alph...From doing...stupid things!!" As he was running at an abnormally high speed for a Sandslash, he ran over a Doduo. "HEY!! EYES OPEN, ASSHOLE!!" "Yeah, what he said!" The Doduo's two heads who had both been woken up said. "Shut up!! I'm more important than you!" Sandslash yelled back, slashing apart a tree and causing more chaos.

Finally, Sandslash reached where Alph was and saw Kangaskhan attacking Alph. In anger he leapt into the air, yelled and attacked. "GET AWAY FROM THAT CRAZY KID BEFORE YOU'RE HURT EVEN FURTHER!!" He yelled, delivering a harsh slash to the Kangaskhan's face.

"KANG!" (TL: "What are you doing!? You're a Safari Pokemon, too!") "Actually, no I'm not. I'm that kid's Pokemon, ashamed to say it as I am. Now get out of here before he does something worse! Like trying to capture you!!"

Unfortunately, Alph heard this. "Hey! I just got an idea!" Unfortunately, Sandslash realized stating his worry was a bad idea too late. "Oh crap."

And so, Alph threw a Safari Ball at Kangaskhan. "Alright, Kangaskhan! Prepare to be assaulted by my balls!" Sandslash sweatdropped. "Safari Ball, go!" Kangaskhan, hit away one ball, but Alph had already thrown the second giving it no time to react, and luckily, capturing Kangaskhan.

"I'm sorry." Sandslash said to the Kangaskhan in the Safari Ball. "Kang-kang." (TL: No problem, I get wounds like that all the time.") Kangaskhan said from within the Safari Ball, Sandslash somehow hearing her.

"No, not about the wound, I mean getting captured. For one, the slash was my fault. And second, Alph really sucks as a Pokemon Trainer. He's really dumb, and doesn't deserve to be one."

Alph, took notice of Sandslash standing beside the Pokeball, and ran over. "Sandslash!! It's great to see you! Gimme a hug!" He said rushing over to Sandslash to hug him. Sandslash tried to stop this, since he dislike hugs in general. "I'm not a very huggy Pokem-"OW! OW! OW! Spikey back!!" "Seves you right stupid." Sandslash quipped.

"Aw, Sandslash. You ALWAYS know just what to say." Just then, a PA system rang. "Attention: Alph Grabbal! Your 500 step limit in the Safari Zone has been used up! Please head to the entra-Zzzz" It was just then that the speaker fell asleep. "BRAD! WAKE UP!! You're still on the PA!" Mike could be heard yelling over the system.

"Oh right. Alph Grabbal, Safari Zone entrance. Thank you." Then a fact suddenly sunk into Alph's mind. "WAIT A SECOND! You were monitoring how many steps I was taking!?"

"Yes, we were. Deal with it, kid." Mike said over the mike.

Alph smiled. "Well, I guess, that's that. Let's go Sandslash. I think Kangaskhan will like me considering all the presents I gave it. And I bonet you'll like having some company."

"I doubt that. I don't consider rocks to be good presents, thrown or handed over. And I don't think that a Pokemon who will usually be in a Pokeball will make very good company." "Oh, Sandslash, you're so funny." Alph said, laughing.

"Besides that, I've got a feeling of guilt towards her, since I indirectly helped you capture her." Sandslash said quietly to himself.

And so, they headed out of the Safari Zone, although Alph first walked into a statue, then the actual entrance/exit.

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End chapter.

Hey guys. I decided I'd post this, just to prove that I'm not dead  
& that I'm still working. In fact, I typed this up in just a few hours. Sorry for the delay.  
Also, if any of you reading this fic care: Yes, I am working on my other fanfic. I just got  
a bit lazy, that's all. Anyway, for those who care about this fic: See you next time I decide to update this!


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